Aligning Yourself with Reality: The Power of Truth
How can failing to align yourself with reality work? How is that possibly going to work? Well, you say, "If I lie, I get away with something." It's like, no, you don't. In all of my clinical practice, I have never, ever seen anyone ever get away with anything, even once. You think the chickens won't come home to roost? It's like, all that means is you're too stupid to see what your lies cause, or too blind, or too self-deceptive. You just don't see it. And so, you don't get away with anything, nothing.
It's terrifying to actually understand that. It's terrifying. What if you can't get away with anything, ever? Well, that's the judgmental God, fundamentally. And of course, you can't get away with anything, because imagine that you took a flexible plastic comb, you know when you bent it backwards, and you say, "Well, I got away with that." It's like, well, what's going to happen when you let go? It's going to snap back and hit you in the face. And that's life, man. You warp the structure of reality. You think you are someone who can warp the structure of reality with your words and get away with it. Really? No, man. That should terrify you right to the core of your soul. You're not God. Tell the truth, or at least don't lie, because you can't tell the truth, right? Because who are you to tell the truth? That's a mighty tall order, man. But you can stop saying things that you know are lies, and that will change your life if you do that.
Why would it change your life? Well, how can you adapt to reality when you falsify it? And you think, "Well, I'm just lying to other people." No, you're not. You can't just lie to other people because what you say becomes you, especially if you practice it. Because we build ourselves out of words, and that can be lies in action too. It's like, don't say things you know to be false. That's a good start, man. And it aligns yourself with the truth. And like, how can that be a bad idea? How could you possibly defend the idea that you could warp the structure of reality and get away with it? I mean, who, who, like I said, who do you think you are? Reality is, you don't mess with it. Like, it kills you. And it'll torture you quite a lot before doing that, if you're not, if you're on particularly unlucky. So beware.
They say the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. That's that judgmental God. It's like, you violate your conscience, man, you will pay. That's hell. Do you want the horror of failure or the certainty of failure? The horror of potential failure or the certainty of failure? Because if you don't do this, you will fail. Now, it'll be put off, but it will absolutely happen. And so that fear, I understand why that stops people. It's no joke to be rejected, and it's gonna happen while you practice. And it's a real fear. But you're deluding yourself by thinking that there's a no-fear option. There's just a delayed fear option, right? Because if you don't get this right, well, you're going to fail for sure. And then you're going to be miserable and vindictive and bitter and anxiety-ridden. And you're going to cause trouble for yourself, and you're going to take it out on women and other men. And like, that's an ugly path, man. And so, I see why you're afraid. But you should be way more afraid of that. And that's a nice way to help people get their thinking straight about fear. It's like, no zero fear path. There is nothing that will make you more powerful than your words. And so, if you think that reading and writing is for pansies and dimwits, or teacher's pets, you're seriously misinformed.
I talk to people like Jocko Willink, and Jocko's as tough a guy as you could ever hope to encounter, about literacy. And a number of other people too, who are also seriously tough guys. They all know perfectly well that literacy is a huge part of what's made them unstoppable. And you don't take that lightly. It's really serious. And it's a failing of our education system that it's not, that literacy isn't marketed properly to young men. It's like, straighten up, speak properly, write, learn to write. Why? Because that's the same as learning to think. And why should you think? Well, because you won't do as many stupid things, and your horizons will widen. And then, when you need to entice people along your journey, hopefully somewhere good, you'll be able to do it because you'll be compelling.
Let's say the marketing association between toughness and dangerousness and literacy, there's something wrong about that. We think some weird way. And it's just, that's wrong. It's like, sure, you should be physically tough, and you should be tough in your temperament as well, as having the capacity for play and compassion. That has to be developed too. But that's not enough. And I don't care how tough you are physically, you're nowhere near as tough as you would be if you were physically tough and really literate. And then, you're an unstoppable force. And hopefully, for good. And that's a much tougher battle than, you know, being tough for your own idiotic, selfish ends. That's just pathetic. So, get your words together and then see what you can do. And don't be thinking that that's somehow beneath you. That just means you're stupid, that you think that. You don't know anything. You think that it's wrong, and you're limiting yourself so much you can't even imagine it. You might not even figure it out till you're 60 or, and then it's too late. So, read, write, think. Why should you read? Well, do you want to be stupid? Do you want to be stupid? What happens when you're stupid? You walk into walls because you don't see them. And if someone comes along who's more educated than you, more literate and cannier, they'll just, you'll lose, man. You'll lose. And you'll lose, too, because you can't think properly. So, you won't aim at the right things, and you won't be informed by the great individuals of the past. And you need that. We're historical creatures. This isn't optional. It helps you become who you could be. It helps you move out into the world and have your great adventure and to bring people along. God only knows what you can do if you've got your words lined up properly.
And young men would listen to that, if someone who knew what they were talking about was telling them that. There's no safe path. There's noble path. There's an honorable path. There's no safe path. And possibly, you wouldn't want that anyways, because, well, who are you exactly? Look at you. You know? Warrior stock. Every single one of your ancestors has stayed alive for three and a half billion years. It's like, good work, man. That's a lot. And so, what makes you so sure you're built for safety? What makes you so sure that that's what we should strive for? And then, if you want adventure, I'll tell you an adventure. What an adventure is, you tell the truth, as nearly as you can, and you'll have the adventure of your life. That's for sure. And that isn't trying to fit in because you're naive or, you know, because you're too afraid to lie. That doesn't make you telling the truth. If you're too afraid to lie, that's, you know, in a cowardly sort of way. There's a wise way of being too afraid to lie. It's lies that turn competence into tyranny. So, don't lie, unless you want to be an incompetent tyrant. And you think that's easier? It's like, in some ways, I suppose it's easier because you can slide into that. But existentially, it's hell. And hell has this weird quality because it feels like it's eternal.
If you have your sight set on a goal, you'll move towards it. If you break the steps down small enough so that even someone as useless as you will do it. And that also requires a fair bit of humility. Because what you might find, especially if you're avoiding something, is that the step you are actually willing to take is so small that you're embarrassed to admit it to yourself. So, you won't take any steps at all. Well, that's completely counterproductive. And the reason that's not proper thinking, let's say, or productive thinking, is that while small steps get bigger real fast. And it doesn't matter where you start. If you're doubling your utility every few weeks, who cares where you start? It starts to take off real quick. So, you don't want to be embarrassed. You don't want to be so embarrassed by where you are that it stops you from becoming who you could be. And that's tough. It can be hard. That's real tough. I'm not making light of that. I see exactly why people avoid. But it's not a good solution.
So, for assertiveness, that's what you do. Maybe you practice how people maybe they're afraid to ask a woman for a phone number. And so, you practice that. And then, you use exposure training. It's like, well, go out and practice that. Say hi to a pretty woman when you pass her on the street. That's your task for this week. And see how you do. See how you respond. See if you can do that. See if you avoid. And if you do avoid, see what you're thinking when you avoid. And we practice these tiny things because they are not tiny, man. You wouldn't believe how many people don't have friends because they don't know how to introduce themselves and shake hands. I bet you there's 5% of the population has no friends at all because they don't know how to do that. It's really sad.
