Understanding the Golden Rule and Taking Care of Yourself
The Invitation to Reciprocity
There is a popular saying that encourages individuals to treat their neighbors as they would like to be treated. However, this piece of work by Young points out that this is not just about being nice to others, but rather an invitation to reciprocity. It suggests that you should ponder on how you would like to be treated as if you were taking care of yourself.
Imagine having a child whom you deeply care for, and someone tells you that people will treat this child exactly how you want them to. But, here's the catch: you have to figure out what that treatment entails. Would you simply want everyone to be nice to your child? No, that's not sufficient. You would want people to challenge your child, discipline them, and even point out their mistakes. Merely being nice would be inadequate and devoid of any real growth or development. Therefore, if you wish to treat others the way you want to be treated, you must first determine how you would want to be treated.
Recognizing the Challenge
However, there is an additional challenge. It is often the case that people treat others better than they treat themselves. This raises the question of why individuals often have such contempt for themselves. There are two primary reasons for this self-dislike.
Firstly, humans are fragile, damageable, and imperfect beings. We are constantly aware of our own flaws, foolishness, and errors. While we may dislike someone due to something they did, we are intimately acquainted with all our own shortcomings. We carry the weight of our weaknesses, uselessness, and temptations, which can be a heavy burden to bear.
Secondly, we are also capable of committing acts of malevolence. We possess the potential for darkness within us, and we are fully aware of that. Therefore, it becomes an existential dilemma to care for something as sorry and wretched as ourselves. Despite not living up to our full potential, it is crucial to adopt an attitude towards ourselves that aligns with how we would treat someone we genuinely care for.
The Moral Obligation to Care for Yourself
Acting as if we genuinely care for ourselves is not just about personal betterment; it is a moral obligation. Failing to take care of ourselves leads to a deterioration in our well-being and makes the world a worse place. Each individual has something valuable to offer to the world; a unique light that brightens the darkness. By neglecting self-care, we deprive the world of this light, leading to a dimmer existence for everyone.
Western civilization has always recognized the importance of the individual in contributing to the world. As an individual, it is incumbent upon you to take care of yourself. Despite mortality, vulnerability, self-consciousness, and the capacity for malevolence, you still bear the responsibility to nurture and care for yourself.
The Contemptuous Nature of Self
Now, let us delve deeper into why people often harbor contempt for themselves. There are undoubtedly numerous reasons for this self-contempt, but these reasons do not justify mistreating oneself. Instead, it is crucial to make friends with individuals who genuinely want the best for you.
During childhood and adolescence, I had friends who genuinely cared about my well-being. It taught me the ethical responsibility of surrounding oneself with individuals who possess the courage, faith, and wisdom to genuinely wish you well. True friends celebrate your successes and provide constructive criticism to prevent destructive behavior. If your friends cannot fulfill this role, then they are not truly your friends.
It is equally important to exercise caution when sharing good news. A friend is someone with whom you can share your achievements, and they respond with genuine happiness for you. They do not belittle or undermine your accomplishments, but rather support and encourage you.
Comparisons and Ideals
One detrimental practice to avoid is comparing oneself to others. Each individual's life is unique and idiosyncratic, making it impossible to find an exact comparison. Comparing oneself to a successful individual, such as a rock star, may lead to envy and bitterness. However, it is crucial to recognize that you do not know the full extent of their struggles and challenges. Instead, compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
Set a goal to make today even a tiny increment better than yesterday. Define what "better" means to you and identify areas of improvement. By focusing on incremental progress, you can create unstoppable momentum and compound the positive effects of your efforts.
Confronting Resentment and Setting Goals
Listening to your resentment and acknowledging its existence is a crucial step towards personal growth. It requires confronting uncomfortable truths and reflecting on the fantasies resentment generates. Only then can you determine the necessary actions to overcome it.
One principle for success is to confront your fears with courage. By doing so, you can break free from the shackles of bitterness, resentment, deceit, arrogance, and vengeance. The goal should be to conceive of a life that is worth living, despite the hardships and suffering that accompanies it. To achieve this, adopt a mode of being that justifies your struggles and suffering.
One effective strategy is to set high goals but break them down into manageable parts. This approach allows you to move incrementally closer to your objective while providing a reasonable probability of success. By comparing yourself to who you were yesterday, you can focus on continuous self-improvement.
Finding Purpose and Justifying the Struggle
Ultimately, the key is to find a sense of purpose that justifies the challenges and setbacks in life. Without purpose, life becomes devoid of meaning, leading to bitterness, resentment, and despair. Therefore, it is crucial to adopt a mode of being that allows you to strive forward, even in the face of adversity.
By embracing the idea of personal growth, setting high but achievable goals, and focusing on incremental improvements, you can transform your life. Do not shy away from the challenge; instead, confront it head-on with courage and determination.
