Understanding Identity and Its Role in the Social World
Identity, in its practical sense, can be likened to a role that individuals play in the world. It goes beyond a mere egocentric focus and becomes a negotiation with others in the social sphere. From a young age, children start to explore their identity in a fantasy world, but eventually, it expands to incorporate the rules and expectations of society.
Imagine finding yourself in a social situation, feeling lonely, and attempting to connect with someone. You may tell a joke with an awkward delivery and receive a negative response. This rejection can trigger a cascade of thoughts and questions about your self-worth. It can range from trivial concerns about telling the joke wrong to profound doubts about being undesirable and destined for a life of loneliness.
These questions and doubts are necessary for personal growth and the emergence of a genuine individual. Before one can break the rules, they must first understand and navigate them. However, it's important to note that not being able to conform to societal norms does not automatically make someone a creative individual. There is a distinction between genuine creativity and simply being unable to follow the rules.
The struggle with societal expectations and the pressure to conform is felt by everyone. Culture can be tyrannical, dictating how one should be and suppressing their true nature. However, it is a reality that individuals benefit from culture as well. It is a delicate balance between staying true to oneself and offering something to society—a pound of flesh, so to speak. Immaturity and refusal to abide by societal rules hinder personal growth, but sacrificing one's soul for societal acceptance is equally detrimental.
When individuals act out their beliefs and desires in the world but do not achieve the desired outcomes, their bodies enter a state of emergency preparation for action. This physiological response stems from being too far removed from the familiar and venturing into the unknown. Uncertainty can be psychologically and physically draining, making it difficult for individuals to tolerate.
Humans are, by nature, conservative creatures who seek certainty and predictability. Negative emotions and uncertainty can cause harm, anxiety, and even death. Therefore, individuals are wired to seek functional identities that regulate emotions in collaboration with others. Acceptance from peers and behaving appropriately according to social cues are crucial for emotional regulation and a sense of belonging.
However, sustaining meaning and finding purpose beyond societal expectations is essential. Responsibility towards oneself and others can provide a sense of fulfillment and purpose. Making sacrifices and committing to something valuable, even in the face of potential failure, reflects the ability to forego immediate gratification for long-term gains. Sacrifice is a defining characteristic of human beings, separating them from animals. It is through sacrifice that individuals can strive to make the future better.
But what if the sacrifices and efforts do not pay off? What if individuals are not appreciated or fail despite their best endeavors? It is tempting to become resentful and bitter, to blame others and tear down those who have succeeded. However, this bitterness is unhelpful and counterproductive. The distribution of rewards in life may seem unfair, but harboring resentment only breeds negativity.
There is a current culture war fueled by resentment and an attack on meritocracy and merit itself. However, the ability to effect meaningful change requires open dialogue across identity boundaries. Society must grapple with the question of whether to maintain or transform existing social institutions. Striving towards personal growth and improvement is necessary, even though it may seem unfair at times. Effort and discipline are essential to maintain the complexity of life in a universe that tends towards entropy.
Conscience plays a crucial role in guiding behavior and holding individuals accountable. It calls attention to deviations from the ideal, an ideal that manifests within each person. Ignoring one's conscience is possible, but it will not cease to exist. The conscience serves as a constant reminder of personal shortcomings and the need for growth.
The speaker reflects on the controversy and criticism surrounding their work. They express confusion and distress over the polarization of opinions and the personal toll it has taken on them. Despite the challenges, their goal remains to alleviate unnecessary suffering and provide value to others. They recognize the fortunate position they are in, receiving heartfelt letters from people who have found solace in their work. However, they also acknowledge their own brokenness and feelings of unworthiness.
Receiving acclaim and adoration from millions of people is overwhelming and dangerous. It is a responsibility that the speaker grapples with and acknowledges that they have changed in the process. They remain committed to their message and the belief that striving for personal growth and positive change is still essential, even if it comes with its own challenges and uncertainties.
